BREAKING: The entire Notre Dame roster — along with head coach Marcus Freeman — has unanimously agreed to withdraw from their bowl game, declaring that the NCAA has treated them unfairly. According to team leaders, Alabama and Miami being selected for the College Football Playoff instead of Notre Dame is “an insult to everything we fought for all season,” accusing the NCAA of blatant favoritism toward the SEC in general and Alabama in particular. Every player and coach has signed a formal statement, and the program is preparing to make an even bigger and bolder move — one that is expected to shock the entire college football world.