BREAKING: Buffalo Bills head coach Sean McDermott has stunned the football world by suspending three of the team’s star players — Josh Allen, James Cook, and Dion Dawkins — after they were caught partying at a downtown nightclub on Monday night, just hours after missing team practice earlier that day, citing “health reasons.” According to sources within the Buffalo Bills organization, the decision came immediately after Sean McDermott reviewed video footage and confirmed multiple reports verifying the players’ presence at the club. “If you think skipping practice and lying about it makes you a Buffalo Bill, think again — not on my field, not under my watch,” the Buffalo Bills declared firmly.